We are all seeking connection, right? As I was listening to Alie Ward's Ologies Podcast on fear the other day, something her guest, Mary Poffenroth, said about fear really struck me. It was that stress is actually connected with the human emotion, fear. Stress is a word we throw around in our culture, like a twisted badge of honor but we are much less likely to admit our fear to one another. Well, I’m here to tell you I’m constantly afraid: fear of failure, fear of being rejected (yes as I’m writing these words to you I’m afraid you’ll hate what I’m writing) fear of not being loved. Fear is a one of five human emotions the others being: sadness, happiness, hate/disgust, all perfectly natural human responses. And so I’m not here to tell you to overcome your fear or that you can comp rid of yourself of stress, but I do believe we can effectively move through it to connect to ourselves and others more deeply. 

In my experience, we can do this through courage or cultivating the ability to do the thing that frightens us. I don’t think courage is acting unafraid or without fear, but comes through strengthening our hearts, to act in spite of fear. So how can one strengthen their heart, not only during this season of love, but through daily stressors, political uncertainty, and climate grief? How can we build our resolve to look our fears in the face, accept them as a human experience and continue to walk along our paths, from a place of feeling safe and protected, yet open.

If courage is born in our hearts, where does fear live? The fear response starts in the region of the brain called the amygdala and travels through our bodies sympathetic nervous system, triggering the release of stress hormones. How can we calm and strengthen our nervous system and our hearts so in times of daily stresses we can have the space to cultivate healthy relationships and be receptive to moments of connection present in our daily lives. Because for me, if I’m honest, its often feeling overwhelm from the tasks of daily life that often keep me from connecting intimately at the end of the day. For you it might be your fear of rejection that keeps you from getting vulnerable with friends or that special someone. 

As Valentines day is right around the corner, I can’t help but cringe at the pressure at this time of year to be in a relationship, to go on a special date, to be sexy, to give or receive gifts, to feel passionate or deeply in love with someone. Amidst the commercialized holiday of valentines, I want to share some of my favorite herbal allies for grounding into your being, for opening your heart to connection, for cultivating courage. These are also wonderful for the lifting the spirits during the often dreary days of February, like the ones here in the midwest. So these plants are a gift of love to yourself, first and foremost, because in our culture, the energy of love often seems to be focused outwards. Who do you love? Who loves you? Of course it is important to love, to give, to be in relationship with others, to experience passion but in my journey, I’ve continually been confronted with the need to cultivate deep connection to myself so I can connect to others. I’ve needed to learn to be receptive instead of always giving away and embracing self as part of a wider whole.

I’ve been sipping on this tea blend, now available in the shop, all week. Personally, I have been dealing with issues around self worth, self acceptance, especially when I made my website public and put myself out into the world. It has taken vulnerability, courage, and these plants have been so nourishing and supportive in my journey.

Rose, Rosa damascena, I’d almost rather drink my roses on valentine’s day over receiving them in a bouquet. Rosa damascena is a prominent flower in Boundaries & Protection flower essence blend and in Wholehearted Elixir. Roses are uplifting, think about deeply inhaling the scent of a rose in the summer. Rose is a nervine, that can instantly gift one a sense of calm, openness, but beware of its thorns. Rose is soft and protected all at the same time. Healthy boundaries allow us to be open to receive what is in our highest good. Roses are connected to the heart chakra, used for self love, grief, heartbreak, as well as if you need to feel protection and held. Roses are used often in formulas as a aphrodisiac because of its affinities for the reproductive and circulatory system, but its healing goes well beyond that. Its warming effects as well as its ability to calm the nervous system. How can these effects not help one feel more embodied and empowered? Roses gladden the heart, support us through grief. From their scent, to their beauty and their medicinal properties address various levels of our physical bodies and emotional well being.

Damiana, Turnera diffusa, is a small flowering shrub found is Mexico, Central and South America, the Caribbean and Africa. The leaves and flowers are what is used. I have been working with this herb in my journey of finding ancestral medicine. Damiana is most commonly known for its use to increase libido, but its antidepressant effects, as well as its tonifying effects against on the nervous system, balancing hormones and building stamina and energy boost should not be underrated. Damiana is wonderful for anxiety and an overall uplifting feeling of well being. Damiana helps us calm the stress response so we can give our energy to connection instead. Damiana is featured in Wholehearted Elixir and Amour Tea Blend

NOTE: Avoid damiana during pregnancy and breastfeeding. Some sources indicate damiana may affect blood sugar levels.

Hibiscus, Hibiscus sabdariffa, antioxidant-rich, high vitamin C, diuretic, strengthen the immune system, cools the body herbaceous shrub in the mallow family (Malvaceae). Hibiscus clears the system, moving stuck energy in the digestive system, circulatory and reproductive systems. It is a sensual plant helping release in the sacral region because of its affinity to the reproductive system allowing one to be open to pleasure and intimate connection.

Hawthorn, Crataegus monogyna, a member of the rose family, Rosaceae, is cooling and moistening. A herb to strengthen the heart, as a cardiac tonic it helps improve the tone of the heart muscle, improving oxygen and circulation to the heart. It is also a nervine, that helps reduce stress and has an anti-inflammatory effect. Like its cousin the rose, the hawthorn tree produces white to light pink blooms, radiating a softness but the tree itself is guarded with massive thorns, you must be sure to not touch. Its divine softness is protected and guarded, which truly allows it to be so open and vulnerable. Its deep red berries are a reminder of its affinity and healing wounds of heart chakra, bringing openness through protection.. As a “trophorestorative (Hoffmann, 2003), it tonifies and repairs the nervous system over time.

Note:  however, all heart patients should speak with their physician before taking hawthorn extracts.

SOURCES: 

Materia Medica from Evolutionary Herbalism

The Herbarium, The Herbal Academy 

The Modern Herbal Dispensary: A Medicine-Making Guide by Thomas Easley, Steven Horne

Alchemy of Herbs by Rosalee De La Floret